I conceived Aurora through IVF with my eggs and sperm from California Cryobank donor #11659 in November of 2009 at age 43.
After graduating from college, I worked as a full-time professional dancer with a classical dance company for 10 years and got married at 32.
Before I dated my now ex-husband, I told him that I wanted to get married and have kids, and that I wasn't dating men who didn't want to get married and have kids at some point in their life.
He assured me that he wanted to get married and start a family. Eight years passed. Every time I brought up having children, he stalled. When I turned 40, I was adamant about starting a family. He admitted that he had changed his mind about having children, so we divorced. I decided immediately to be a single mom.
My fertility doctor will only use California Cryobank, so I went on the website. My brother's wife helped me pick donor #11659. She and my brother have 2 boys, and they live down the street from my parents. She knows my gene pool VERY WELL. She picked donor #11659 because the interviews described him as "laid back." She said "No one in your family is the least bit laid back. This is the guy for you!"
I then had IVF with donor 11659's sperm. I got pregnant, but lost the pregnancy. I then had another IVF at age 43 and got pregnant again. This time I had an uneventful, happy and healthy pregnancy. I gave birth to Aurora on July 30, 2010. She is the joy of my life.
I work as a full-time teacher at a private school. Aurora goes to a wonderful babysitter, who takes care of 2 other children. Aurora LOVES her babysitter, who is a kind, loving, fun and generous woman who, among other things, is teaching her to speak Spanish. Aurora and I are active members of the Catholic Church. Everyone at church knows our story, and EVERYONE, even the oldest ladies and the priests, have accepted us completely. They shower us with love.
We live in a great Brooklyn neighborhood, right by the ocean. Our neighbors are mostly Jewish and conservative Muslim folks. Again, everyone knows our story, and everyone has accepted us completely. Aurora's best friend is the daughter of our extremely conservative Muslim neighbors, and they treat us as part of their family.
My family is thrilled to have Aurora in our family and I have to keep them from spoiling her.
Every day, we ride the subway. I often strike up conversations with other women who show interest in Aurora. I recognize "the look" - the look of a woman who is older and single and who wants a baby. I am very honest. I tell people CONSTANTLY that I am single and had a baby with donor sperm. If only one woman considers having a baby on her own, if she hasn't met the right man, it makes my "oversharing" worth it!!! I wish more women understood that this is a wonderful choice.
We are in contact with Aurora's 6 half siblings. One of them lives on Long Island, close enough to visit. He was born the day after Aurora. They are a two mom family. We visit them, and refer to the children as brother and sister. I trade photos and emails with all of Aurora's half siblings, and we plan to all meet when the children are older.
At first, I was quite daunted by the idea of donor sperm. Even the paperwork seemed like too much. However, everyone at California Cryobank was SO kind, and so friendly and so helpful, it made the process really joyful and easy. Aurora is a bright, good-natured child. We have a great time together, and love each other very much. She is certainly laid back, just like the donor!!
Finally, I am eager to spread the word about California Cryobank, and about single motherhood as a choice for women who are aching to be moms. Please email abrown@cryobank.com if you would like to get in touch with me.
Best,
Vanessa